After a long hiatus (hey I was busy with music stuffs, working out and procrastinating), I’ve decided to work on my first eeeeva food review. Actually I originally planned to do this for The Pantry blog but I don’t exactly have the freedom to say whatever I please (and Boxgreen might get in trouble since daily juice has been a partner or something).
I’ve always really wanted to do a juice cleanse review because as a nutritionist, I strongly do not believe in or advocate a juice cleanse. Maybe I’ll write about why it’s so bad and a braddy waste of money next time, but not now.
Here are my 2 cents (actually 48 bucks ugh):
So apparently this raw food juice cleanse isn’t just juices but there’s some munching I could do too so I chose it (just can’t bear the thought of drinking juices all day long even if it’s just one day). I bought it for 48 bucks on groupon. My boss thinks I’m siao for spending that amount :< Here’s how it looks like!!!
It came in a cute lil deliveroo bag
When I opened it… erm, I didn’t know what to think but wow, is this really what I’m going have to eat for the entire day… OK…
There are instructions on what you should be eating first –
– Barnie: Beet, lemon, carrot, ginger, and apple
– Kale chips: Dehydrated kale with lemon and pink Himalayan salt
– Cauliflower mash with dehydrated flax crackers
– Cashew cauliflower crumble ball with strawberry chia jam
– Krypto: Spinach, cucumber, romaine, green apple, parsley, lemon, and ginger
– Superfood granola energy ball: Gluten- and sugar-free snack made with chia, hemp, and flax seeds
– Raw tabbouleh
– Raw brownie
– White rabbit: Almonds, alkaline water, dates, vanilla, and pink Himalayan salt
It tasted pretty alright, it’s not gross so phew. Kinda looks like wine. I drank this and had the kale chips.
Ok I know it looks gross, like someone pee-ed on grass and it dried up with yellow fungus, but it was actually the best kale snack I’ve ever tasted! Because of this I bought my own kale and tried to dehydrate it by oven baking it but it was like shit. I have no idea what kinda magical seasoning they used on it with weird yellow shitty looking thingys.
This tasted… like health food. It’s like having mouthfuls of veggies, I felt so protein deprived ughhh and I was so not satisfied after the meal. Thank god it came with a delicious snack.
The jam along with it was so yumzzzz I saved it for a couple of days.
Here’s the next juice lined up. Looks like yucky green overpriced health food and I was prepared for the worst. I took a teeny weeny preparation sip and wooo what?! This greeny thing tasted pretty decent to my surprise.
YAY I’m finally here I’ve been staring at it all day dying to eat it but I really wanted to follow the right sequence. This over kale chips anytime mm hmmm it was mmmm yummm. I was kind hungry but I resisted the urge to grab a snack pack at work. WOULD DINNERTIME JUST COME ALREADY?!
WHAT THE FU*K. IS. THIS. Apparently it’s called ‘Tabbouleh’, or more like Tak Boleh Tahan. This tasted weeeeeird. You need to try it to know. Texture wise, it’s hard like crackers and it produces that ‘tuk tuk’ sound when you try and hit it against things. It’s like a plastic vegetable. The only saving grace was the white sauce thingy (no damn idea wtf that is too but it tasted 2x better than orange grass.
Thank goodness for brownie.
Chocolate brownie. Nuff said.
The last juice (AND THE BEST)
I love almonds, I love vanilla more, and himalayan pink salt sounds healthily yum. I knew I was gonna love it but I just didn’t know how much I would. Opened the cap, smelled its contents. OH the freshly scented whiff of vanilla infused with blended almonds made my tastebuds tingle. Eagerly, I took a sip.
OH. Ma. GOOOOOODNESSSS
the nicest, most delicious, heavenly, amazingly bursting-ly awesome almond milk I’ve ever tasted. EVER! IT WAS SO DARN GOOD. It kinda tastes like the xin ren thingy, but way way way better. omggggggg. I went online to check the price of this on UberEats but my gosh one bottle is 9 bucks what an utter rip off!!! ughhhh but it’s so good FINE JUST TAKE MAH MONEH :<
…. and that’s a wrap! I wasn’t hungry after it all but I def was not satisfied.
Is it worth it?!
I would not order it again because it’s a damn huge waste of money for a day of a suffering unsatisfied tummy. Oh except the almond milk.
Plus I kinda ruined it all by having cheese fries at 12 midnight. Ah wells.